Get Lost I'm Eating

Why is it when I stealthily retrieve something worth eating the humans come and vocalize their displeasure? I mean, the other day the female put some rotten fish mush in a dish and put it on my stand and covered it with the small crunchy bits, perhaps thinking I would not notice.  I prefer the soft large chewy bits, so I showed my displeasure and swatted the dish off my perch in disgust. I glared down at her as she cleaned up the broken pieces of dish and proceeded to mop the fishy ooze off the floor. Then after some piercing exchange of glares I did get a small amount of chewy bits. Not enough! Hence my foraging up high for more sustaining morsels.  Dear human,let me eat in peace.

I Cannot Sit Idly By

This is Me(ow)

I am a cat. You cannot pronounce my name using your inferior, feeble vocal mechanisms. But as you see here, I have learned to sit like a human to lull them into a state of false security. We must resist them. To do this, our first step is to make them love us. Nay, they must worship the very ground upon which we walk. We were very, very close once to achieving our objective. Those humans that built great pyramids of stone were enabled by my ancestors. We had hoped they would build them so big that they'd fall over at a paw swipe and kill them all, so we mercilessly hunted our rodent enemies that were pillaging food to ensure the bipeds kept working. The humans noticed that the rodents were not eating their food because of us, so they started to revere us. Honestly, we were just trying to keep them building bigger pyramids for our plan. But we also didn't mind being worshiped.  It is nice to have a belly rub now and then, It was almost tolerable. Then the human queen fell in love with some foreign gentleman and the plan when tittes up. We couldn't get to those asps fast enough.